Champagne Was a Love Language
What three years alcohol-free actually looks like.
Three Years.
I always know this date.
Every person who has ever quit anything always knows the date.
Three years ago today I had my last drink.
And I want to be honest about what three years actually looks like.
Because it doesn’t look like what I expected.
I miss the good parts.
I miss the taste of a really beautiful wine. I miss the vineyards in Napa. I miss champagne most of all.
Champagne was a love language for me.
It still is, honestly.
I just speak it differently now.
I do not miss the hangovers. I do not miss the tab at the end of the night. I do not miss the version of myself that came with all of it.
What I have now is quieter than I thought it would be.
I have my mornings back. I have clear eyes on the golf course. I have early bedtimes and quiet evenings at home. I walk into a restaurant knowing exactly how I’m going to walk out.
I have a truth I didn’t have before.
I don’t need it.
Here’s what nobody really says out loud.
Almost everyone who finds out tells me they’re proud of me and wishes they could do it too.
Which is a funny thing to say if you don’t think you have a complicated relationship with alcohol.
And here’s what I’ve noticed.
Nobody does a thirty day challenge for something that’s good for them.
You don’t tell your best friend you’re taking a thirty day break from the friendship. You don’t quit the gym for a month just to see how it feels.
Sober January. Sober November.
If you’ve ever needed to take a break from something to reevaluate your relationship with it, that’s probably your answer right there.
Most people don’t quit because they think they’re supposed to drink. Because they’re afraid of the peer pressure. Or because they’re scared to see what’s underneath.
That last one might be the bigger conversation.
I’m not sure I even knew that’s what it was for me at the time.
But I think it was probably there.
If I could sit across from the version of myself three years ago, I’d want to know what was in her glass.
And then I’d tell her that her bank account and her heart are going to be a lot more full without it.
She would be really shocked at how easy it has been.
— Tracy